Archive for the ‘shit happens’ Category

Rest in peace

Rest in peaceI wish I had been more present for You.
By the time it was too late there was no way to really exchange any last words, or wrap up any loose ends.
But at the same time, I don’t know if you can just “conclude” a relationship with someone who pretty much raised you alongside of your parents, just like that, with a few good words and kind gestures.
I’m also not sure if You’d have cared to listen anyway.
I feel awful because part of me is relieved that this is all over: fewer obligations, less guilt, less pain of seeing you slowly but surely going away. I also feel awful because I do not feel as sad as I thought I should be.
Furthermore, I know that I’ve seen much worse departures before, but this is fresh, raw and new. I know this, and I know it will take time.
I don’t believe in god, but I know you did, I guess you’re all reunited together now, we tried to accommodate with your (somewhat) conflicting desires on how to handle your funerals, I hope we made the right choice, but it also feels like we leaned on what was the most “convenient” option.
This clumsy goodbye will never reach you, and I’m writing it more for myself and who care to join my little pity party than anything else.

The past week has been both easy, and difficult mentally…

I’ve been extremely restless, and haven’t really done anything of value, I feel “fine” 99% of the time, but I am having a really hard time focusing on creative work.

It is already mid-December and things are only going to get busier from this point, but I’ll do my best to show some progress on current projects.

Late pseudo-update

I’m calling this a pseudo-update, because I still don’t know if this is going to be relevant to SL at all.

Without going into details, one of my relatives has been hospitalized this weekend, and It is unlikely that they will walk out of it. As a result I’ve been occupying my head with random projects, and for some reason, I couldn’t really get my head into the latex maid uniform project.

There is a couple of other things I don’t feel comfortable to show for now, but well… this is today’s update. I want to get back into the swing of things… but at least it is still modeling, right?

I’m hoping things will improve, but they won’t. So all I can hope is to get over it quickly… or at least enough to focus.

Sick…

I haven’t posted one of these in a while, but I do not remember ever being this sick before.

Things are stable at the moment, so don’t you worry too much ^_^.

New internet, more speed, more headaches

I wasted almost two whole days sorting out issues with my brand-new internet access (FTTH yay!). I think I have almost every issue squashed. Now I’m just waiting for a replacement Gigabit Ethernet adapter.

I’ll post a modeling progress update as soon as I have more to show.

This is no good…

This is no good, I’m sleep-deprived again… I have spent most of the day trying to come up with a metallic look that I like.

So far? Nothing really horrible, but nothing that I like either.

I’m trying to create something that doesn’t look painted and has a little amount of wear visible. Not too much, but not too little that it won’t be visible at all. I’ve even tried using some of my previous metal materials without much success.

I tried adding a bit of rust too, but it doesn’t look right either and whatever scratches or uneven brushing I tried to add wasn’t really noticeable enough, or looked fake.

Sick…

I should make the yearly “post-Christmas sickness” a scheduled task or something because it happens with clock-like predictability.

I’m not dying, at least I don’t think I am, don’t worry. I’ve been taking my meds and resting the last couple of days.

Setbacks on the bikini project

And here I thought I was being productive 😀 Turns out I’m having a few problems with the bikini project >_<

I was doing some test weight painting yesterday and after a couple of mismatched test uploads, it dawned on me that I made two huge rookie mistakes:

  • I decided to use a custom shape rather than the stock shape for my reference which causes alignment/proportion errors in-world.
  • My straps all go through a part of the leg that is designed to collapse on itself when the legs are spread, it is literally not possible for me to weight paint something to stay “above” the body in this location.

I thought about lattice-ing the mesh back in place but it wouldn’t solve the strap placement issue so I decided to try my best at re-creating it all. Not really from scratch, but close.

A few “before & after” pictures, I know it doesn’t look like much changed besides the lighting, but the straps ride quite a bit higher. I did manage to reuse the crease work that I did, I haven’t decided if I want to redo those yet.

This is going to take a little while…

I feel pretty stupid about it, it is such a waste of time and I should know better right?

Recovering from that second shot.

I got my second shot of Moderna vaccine yesterday and it did make quite an impression 😀

On today’s menu: mostly resting and hydration.

I guess working out is off the table at least today given that my back feels like I’ve been run over by a train repeatedly.

I complain a lot but this is nothing that some R&R cannot cure, but I do feel sorry for those that have to go to work the next day.

TouchBound wrist cuffs hotfix!

This one is on me again, I made a mistake during last round of update and forgot to package two left wrist cuff animations (left cuff to collar left/right ring).

So unfortunately, it is update time again, wrist cuff hotfix time:

Once again, I apologize for the inconvenience.

🙇‍♀️

KDC Paw Mittens V16 update!

I am so sorry for releasing another update this quickly but when I removed the chain slack on suspensions I didn’t do it right and as a result, it would create taut chains when it shouldn’t.

This isn’t a critical update, but I still recommend it.

Kyrah Abattoir
Creator of BDSM and fetish content in Second Life since 2004.

Seasoned 3D artist and programmer, aspiring video game creator.

March 2024
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