I have, again, to apologize for my long radio silence. There are many reasons i could put forward to explain it. I might not be able to explain everything but i am going to try.
I think several factors are playing against me, first, i am naturally lazy, and depending of SL as my way to have a roof and bread on the table isn’t making it easier. Two years ago, on January i started to make some accounting about KDC. At this time, everything was just fine, the charts where showing that i was making a very nice progression. I think sometime during this year i started to relax, a bit too much i believe, to put it bluntly, i’ve been slacking -_-. Last year after a few months i started pulling the alarm because my montly income was falling like a rock. I still don’t know if it was my fault or the product of several factors. Basically i started worrying and plainly .. freaking out.
Handling KDC on a day to day basis isn’t easy, when i started it seems nobody had been digging into the BDSM/Fetish market very much and i quickly diversified, my past products cover pretty much everything you can create in sl, from clothes, attachments, scripted furnitures and the like. For some time i have kept this diversity, it was mainly because i had periods of time where one thing was more pelasant and relaxing to do and at some other time it was something else.
Now this diversity is what is making me slow.
Most of my competitors focus in a single creation discipline and some even in a single product perfected time after time. I haven’t been working like this, usually what was done was done and i wouldn’t go back on it.
Now i have to “fight” on every fronts it seems.
It’s hard, really, i think i am losing most of my time trying to decide what branch of my work need to be dealt with and it makes me panic even more.
Time is pouring through my fingers as i try to catch it, making inovative stuffs require me a lot of time, i am a bit perfectionist and i can’t release code that has been patched the quick and dirty way, if i could show to peoples my code without much risks they would know it, so for now you only have my word. Same for clothing, my toolchain ask from me a lot of time and dedication, but the result is here right? 🙂
So all this hefty bit of text i’ve been trying to explain why i disappear for months, i try to think about something else, i get stuck in panic weeks where i can’t get anything done, and also cycle throught code block periods and “like nothing” moments. Sometimes i will look at the clock and see that in my whole days in secondlife i achieved nothing.
I need to change this, because i’m ashamed of my own inability to keep my place in the community.